The Asian Rake

Rake–great stuff. My friends give me a lot of crap for “over-thinking the whole dating thing.” It’s good to get a little insight into your process, it makes me feel better about how much I think

I really liked your comment about “if your happiness is contingent on someone else changing…” I’ve been there, and cutting her out of my life was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do.

I also like your discussion on tonality. I’ve found that when I go out and try to build a lot of social proof in a bar, I get into a very high-energy mood and bounce around…and rarely close. When “I don’t do anything,” when I’m introduced to a girl and we sit next to each other…and I’m just relaxed…and our interaction is slowly paced…and my speech follows our mood…that’s when I see great success. Somehow I’d never put those two things together. I look forward to my next few months as I try being more mindful of this.

Back at you–happy playing

Hey Robertj,
Thanks for your kind words.

I sometimes get people saying that I think too much about “social dynamics” (they all have different words for this). But those are usually the same people who are deeply dissatisfied with their love lives.

Yeah, the tonality thing was huge for me.

Cheers, The Asian Rake.